Blog Ketchup

Get it? Ketchup? Catch up?

Get it? Ketchup? Catch up?

I know what y'all must be thinking: "Oh em gee, Kate, it has been so long since you have blogged! How am I to keep on living without regular doses of your wit and updates on your whereabouts?"

Well, I'm sorry. And I'm flattered. And, frankly, a little freaked out. I mean, it's just a blog for heaven's sake. And look at that picture. It's of ketchup. Don't you have anything better to do with your spare time? (Just kidding!)

On Thursday I had a job interview in Louisville, and the interviewer asked what I did in my spare time, and I said "Go to weddings." This may or may not have been the most appropriate answer for a job interview, but it was nothing if not accurate. (I have also missed a few weddings lately, which saddens me greatly and furthers my anger toward all the scientists who have not yet invented teleportation and time travel.)

Going to weddings, catching up with friends, and starting to apply for jobs are basically the only things of note that I've done since coming home a month ago. I've also been chewing on some blog post ideas and then failing to follow through with them. I've decided to provide a list of the posts on tap both (a) to pique your interest and (b) to motivate myself to start or finish them.

Pending/potential posts: 

1. On leaving Columbia

I frequently find myself writing this post in my head while driving, but I don't know if I have the emotional capacity to type it all out yet. If you haven't heard, I've decided to stay in Kentucky. I have peace about the decision. But I didn't get real goodbyes in Missouri, and I didn't get to say thank you as much as I should have.

2. Recent weddings

Basically an excuse to post pictures of fun times with all the friends I miss so dearly.

Make it stop, Miley.

Make it stop, Miley.

3. Glamour & Grammar & Miley Cyrus

The way Miley Cyrus has been using pronouns recently is almost as interesting/disturbing as the way she's been wearing her hair recently. (Also, it's been too long since I've written a Glamour & Grammar post.)

4. My fave podcast

A few months ago I started listening to a life-changing podcast, and I've been wanting to blog about it this whole time. BUT the list of things I want to say about it keeps getting longer as I work my way through more and more old episodes. I'm not even going to tell y'all the name of the podcast right now (though most of you who know me in real life have already heard me talk about it). I want to make you wait to listen to it until I can preface it with the intro it deserves.

5. ABC Family dramas


I'm not sure whether this deserves its own blog post, but as I have mentioned before, I have a thing for ABC Family shows, and there is a new one that I like.

6. The Bachelorette

I'm almost done with a post about The Bachelorette. Go ahead and get excited.

7. Job interviews & first dates

I know that first dates are not supposed to feel like job interviews, but — let's be honest — job interviews feel a lot like first dates. Upon leaving that Thursday interview, I started making a mental list of the similarities between the two. (Example: Both require me to try far too many combinations of the items in my closet. Also, both make me unreasonably sweaty nervous.) You will get to read said list once I flesh it out.

8. Job search in general

I have some other thoughts about job searching/being a grown-up/this thing called the in-between.

9. Running

Maybe just a little update on the progress of my legs and my running.

Also I need to update my blog header. I am no longer a graduate student, so obviously I need to scratch that out. Maybe I'm just dawdling because "Musings & general excitement of a 20-something wastrel" sounds terrible.

Anything else I should write about? I'm open to requests.

Impostor Syndrome

If you know me well (or have read this blog for much time at all), you know that I worry a lot. Like a lot a lot. Like about everything.


Every time I'm facing a new semester — or a new job or a new test or a new assignment — my tendency to worry manifests itself as Impostor Syndrome. No matter how well I have done in the past in similar situations, I am wholeheartedly convinced that I will fail in the future. I've somehow conned my way into my current situation, and it's only a matter of time before my inabilities are brought to light.

For example, I call my mom before almost every test and tell her that I'm going to fail. I haven't had enough time to study, and I don't understand the information, and I have six other projects that I'm trying to work on. And I'm going to FAIL.

(My brain continues: I'm not really cut out for grad school. Not bright enough for Missouri. Not as capable as the other students.)

I hadn't even realized that I always did this until my mom pointed it out during one of my pre-test meltdowns back in my college days. She said something to the effect of, "Kate, you always call and say you're going to fail, and you never actually fail." (So now I'm aware of the fact that my breakdowns are unmerited, but I still have them.)

A few weeks ago, I was talking to some of my friends, and I was amazed to learn how many felt the same way about various situations in their lives. I knew these girls to be capable and smart and diligent. I could think of dozens of reasons to reassure my friends that their successes were deserved and that they would continue to succeed in the future. When it comes to my own successes, however, I never think I'll be able to keep up the act.

This is what I'm dreading about the new semester. I'm dreading the feelings of Impostor Syndrome, dreading the sense of inadequacy and the anticipation of failure. I think hearing that my friends felt the same way was somewhat reassuring — not because I want them to feel incapable but because I know they aren't. And maybe the more these feelings get talked about, the more we'll be able to fend them off.

p.s. In writing this blog, I came across this interesting Impostor Phenomenon test. I would definitely answer often or very true for almost all of the statements on the test. Yikes! Here are a few examples:

  • I have often succeeded on a test or task even though I was afraid that I would not do well before I undertook the task.
  • I avoid evaluations if possible and have a dread of others evaluating me.
  • When people praise me for something I’ve accomplished, I’m afraid I won’t be able to live up to their expectations of me in the future.
  • I tend to remember the incidents in which I have not done my best more than those times I have done my best.
  • I rarely do a project or task as well as I’d like to do it.
  • I often worry about not succeeding with a project or examination, even though others around me have considerable confidence that I will do well.

Do you ever feel like an impostor?