I'd kiss job interviewing goodbye.*

Being a grown-up has its perks. When you're a grown-up, you don't have math homework (or math teachers). Your braces are probably long gone, and your skin is probably mostly kind of clear most days. But being a grown-up also has its downsides, like job interviews and realizing you will never be a Disney child star. Upon leaving a job interview the other day, I had a deja vu moment. I was like, This job interview feeling is familiar. And then I was like, Oh, wait, that's 'cause it feels exactly like a first date. The more interviews I go to, the more similarities I see. 

For both job interviews and first dates:

1. You can never figure out what to wear.

In my case, this means spending way too long in front of the mirror trying on every combination (permutation?) of the items in my closet. It is like the intro to Sabrina the Teenage Witch up in my room, except that she just has to will her outfit to change, whereas I have to throw all the pieces everywhere.

Should I go with a skirt or pants? When was the last time I washed this top? Where the heck are my shoes!?

2. Some online reconnaissance is expected.

It's stupid to go into a job interview without having done a substantial amount of preliminary research about the company. Similarly, it's stupid to go on a date with a guy without doing your dude diligence.

In recent months, I have scaled back my pre-date internet stalking because I realized how super creepy it is to know random details about a guy due to the fact that you read his Facebook notes from 2008. You do not need to know a guy's (a) preferred Bible translation, (b) cousins' names, and (c) last six Halloween costumes to go on a date with him. (But do go ahead and make sure his favorite movie on Facebook isn't, like, The Texas Chainsaw Exorcism of Austin Powers.)

3. You get all nervous beforehand.

Duh.

4. The conversation is basically the same.

Where are you from? Where did you go to school? What do you do? Why that field?

The Venn diagram of first date conversation topics and job interview conversation topics is practically a circle. You know it's a great date when conversation diverges from the standard fare.

5. You have to wait for them to call afterward.

Every time I remember that I'm expecting a call from a company, it feels as if my stomach and my lungs have swapped places. Does anyone else know this feeling? It's the same one you get when you remember that a guy said "I'll call you."

6. And the phone conversations are supes awkward.  

I do this awful thing when I try to make pre- or post-date conversation with boys on the phone: I get so afraid of awkward pauses that I talk so fast I forget to breathe. And then I have to disguise the fact that I am literally gasping for air. This also happened the other day when I was on the phone with a company. I was trying to tell this lady about my education, but instead I was hyperventilating.

(This is undoubtedly the most embarrassing revelation included in this list.)

7. Down the road it will either end in commitment, or it will just end.

Early in my job-searching days, I had to turn down a job offer that wasn't the right fit. It felt like a mini break-up. I worried I'd led them on. Taylor Swift is writing a song about it.

8. The only thing worse than going through one is never getting the chance. 

Sometimes you apply for a great job, and the company never even asks you for an interview, and it all feels like such a waste because you would've been perfect for the position. And sometimes you like a boy, and he never even asks you for a date. And that, too, feels like a waste because you totally wanted the chance to chat with him while you both fiddled self-consciously with the cardboard sleeves around your coffee cups.

9. You never know what they've already read about you on the internet. 

For instance, if any potential employers or suitors (What word would you have used?) have read this blog, I have undoubtedly guaranteed that I will never get a job interview or a first date again. Oops.

10. You've gotta remind yourself that you're a catch.

No matter how nervous I may feel, I know the company that lands me lands a stellar employee. Extrapolate as you will.

*Just kidding, that would be a surefire way to guarantee unemployment.

Blog Ketchup

Get it? Ketchup? Catch up?

Get it? Ketchup? Catch up?

I know what y'all must be thinking: "Oh em gee, Kate, it has been so long since you have blogged! How am I to keep on living without regular doses of your wit and updates on your whereabouts?"

Well, I'm sorry. And I'm flattered. And, frankly, a little freaked out. I mean, it's just a blog for heaven's sake. And look at that picture. It's of ketchup. Don't you have anything better to do with your spare time? (Just kidding!)

On Thursday I had a job interview in Louisville, and the interviewer asked what I did in my spare time, and I said "Go to weddings." This may or may not have been the most appropriate answer for a job interview, but it was nothing if not accurate. (I have also missed a few weddings lately, which saddens me greatly and furthers my anger toward all the scientists who have not yet invented teleportation and time travel.)

Going to weddings, catching up with friends, and starting to apply for jobs are basically the only things of note that I've done since coming home a month ago. I've also been chewing on some blog post ideas and then failing to follow through with them. I've decided to provide a list of the posts on tap both (a) to pique your interest and (b) to motivate myself to start or finish them.

Pending/potential posts: 

1. On leaving Columbia

I frequently find myself writing this post in my head while driving, but I don't know if I have the emotional capacity to type it all out yet. If you haven't heard, I've decided to stay in Kentucky. I have peace about the decision. But I didn't get real goodbyes in Missouri, and I didn't get to say thank you as much as I should have.

2. Recent weddings

Basically an excuse to post pictures of fun times with all the friends I miss so dearly.

Make it stop, Miley.

Make it stop, Miley.

3. Glamour & Grammar & Miley Cyrus

The way Miley Cyrus has been using pronouns recently is almost as interesting/disturbing as the way she's been wearing her hair recently. (Also, it's been too long since I've written a Glamour & Grammar post.)

4. My fave podcast

A few months ago I started listening to a life-changing podcast, and I've been wanting to blog about it this whole time. BUT the list of things I want to say about it keeps getting longer as I work my way through more and more old episodes. I'm not even going to tell y'all the name of the podcast right now (though most of you who know me in real life have already heard me talk about it). I want to make you wait to listen to it until I can preface it with the intro it deserves.

5. ABC Family dramas

twisted1.png

I'm not sure whether this deserves its own blog post, but as I have mentioned before, I have a thing for ABC Family shows, and there is a new one that I like.

6. The Bachelorette

I'm almost done with a post about The Bachelorette. Go ahead and get excited.

7. Job interviews & first dates

I know that first dates are not supposed to feel like job interviews, but — let's be honest — job interviews feel a lot like first dates. Upon leaving that Thursday interview, I started making a mental list of the similarities between the two. (Example: Both require me to try far too many combinations of the items in my closet. Also, both make me unreasonably sweaty nervous.) You will get to read said list once I flesh it out.

8. Job search in general

I have some other thoughts about job searching/being a grown-up/this thing called the in-between.

9. Running

Maybe just a little update on the progress of my legs and my running.

Also I need to update my blog header. I am no longer a graduate student, so obviously I need to scratch that out. Maybe I'm just dawdling because "Musings & general excitement of a 20-something wastrel" sounds terrible.

Anything else I should write about? I'm open to requests.