Bad Advice I Read on Pinterest: Vol. 3

As G.K. Chesterton said in the year 1930, “Fallacies do not cease to be fallacies because they become fashions.” 

Perhaps he had had a vision of the future — a future in which men and women (but mostly women) might accept nearly any nonsense were it written in a pretty font, pasted on an abstract watercolor, and pinned to a friend’s Pinterest board.

Posts in this series:

Or perhaps people have always fallen prey to treating truths like fashions that pass with the decades.

(Yeah, probably the latter.)

But truth doesn't come and go like skinny jeans — which is why it’s important, when you come across an inspirational saying on Pinterest (or read/watch just about anything, for that matter), to ask yourself, “Is this actually true, or does it just sound right in this decade and this hemisphere?” 

Having done so, I give you the third edition of Bad Advice I Read on Pinterest. (Some of it, I will grant, is not necessarily untrue, just really really stupid.)

Clearly you just need to DECIDE HARDER.


George Eliot

Unless what you might've been was an Olympic gymnast or a Disney child star — it's definitely too late for that now.


She will cut you with her metal headdress.


Just watch out for ceiling fans.


Brigham Young knows a thing or two about thoughts that came from hell.


You ... and gravity ... and time ... and the inevitability of death ... do you want me to keep going?

(I'm so encouraging.)


Nothing except for most things.


evolution

Human evolution has reached its zenith in the misandrist.


I've said it before and I'll say it again: Ladies, what makes you beautiful is a man.


Some of your best memories will be made in prison.


vision

Insanely high expectations have never disappointed anyone before!

YOU get a grand vision! And YOU get a grand vision!  E V E R Y B O D Y  GETS A GRAND VISION!!!


"Ugh, finally."


Because never again will you meet a woman with a hat for head.


"Love is patient, love is kind — but not too patient or too kind. You need to think about yourself."


Maybe it's going to launch you into something great. Or maybe it's going to launch you into the side of a deer. (Congratulations, you just killed Bambi's mom.)


And that's how I know I have multiple personality disorder.


dance with god

The Prosperity Gospel — for Teens!


Not every girl wants to be in a relationship; some just want to be in a relationship.


So get out of my room, MOM.


broad daylight

I, for one, am glad people don't make love in broad daylight.


fc50fb8384999e24896f6b1018fae864.jpg

If you think that sounds expensive, you should see my dental bills.

If you think it sounds painful, you should see me poop.


Anything you can objectify, I can objectify better! 

I Photoshopped the Sims pixels onto this woman — because 1) homegirl was naked and 2) I'm of the controversial opinion that posing naked is not empowering to women — but I left the original text in all its disturbing irony.


One comma, can ruin a sentence.


gypsy soul

She lived under a bridge and ate flowers for a living, and that was not quite as glorious, but it was the life she had chosen.


And that is why we, the jury, find the defendant GUILTY.

(I think that part is called your sin nature.)


Said the snake to the woman.


So you are a whole person, but he is a stupid ass? No, wait ... that says "studpid ass."


Bring me the #@%& Midol. 


Seriously, though, WHO WRITES THIS STUFF?

What bad advice have you read lately? Tell me in the comments.

Triple Digits

As a 9-year-old I dreaded the idea of hitting double digits on my 10th birthday. I actually remember crying about it to my parents. Ages 0 through 9 had been so wonderful. Who knew what my next decade held? So my parents humored me. After my mom made my birthday cake (white on white, always), my dad icing-ed "9+" onto it in his signature bubble letters. And they let me be 9+ until I felt ready to call myself 10. (Which, by the way, was before my 11th birthday. I was never 9++.)

Workin' those corduroy overalls.

And even though I once hated the idea of double digits, I'm super excited about reaching triple digits — in blog followers, of course! (I've said for a while that once I hit 100 followers, I will let myself feel less weird about the fact that I write about my life on the internet. So here I go attempting that.)

Just wanted to thank everyone who reads and (I hope) enjoys this blog. It has been such a fun outlet for me.

In celebration of reaching 100 followers, here's a look at what kind of posts are ahead:

  • More Glamour & Grammar
    • Glamour & Grammar & Gavin DeGraw
    • My Personal Grammar Gaffes (alternate title: A Whole Nother Side of Me)
    • Cooking for One (alternate title: Cereal for Dinner)
    • Weekly Roundup Series
      • A Friday series in which I post links to the best things I've found online that week.
      • Letters to Boys
        • A series in which I write brief letters to the entire male population of the world. (Because there are just some things that guys need to know but for some reason do not know. For example, there are better options than hair gel.)

So come along with me as I muse and enthuse and too frequently share more than should be shared. And thanks again for all your support!

Girl Behind the Blog Vlog Link-Up

Linking up with Erin and Ashley today! Found out about this vlog link-up from Annie!

Can't wait to watch everyone's videos and get to know more bloggers!

Instagram Love

Instagram is arguably my favorite iPhone app. (It pretty much makes even the most mundane moments look dreamy.) But I've long lamented that there was no real way to see people's pics online without clicking on them individually from Twitter or Facebook. Enter INK361, the site we've all been waiting for. You can see people's entire Instagram albums and comment and like them from the site! Yes, please.

Y u no like my hat? Here's my INK361 page. Are you on Instagram?

BLAH BLAH BLAH ROFL BRB

Came across these illustrations by Graham Roumieu in the newest Real Simple. (I've been saying that a lot lately, huh?)

They sort of reminded me of myself. Oops.

Communication theorists like to talk about self-disclosure a lot. They talk about what causes people to self-disclose, what causes people not to self-disclose, why some people self-disclose more than others, etc. In general, self-disclosure is reciprocal. People self-disclose back and forth like they're playing ping pong. The internet changes everything, though. You can sort of self-disclose to no end, whether or not there's someone on the other side self-disclosing in response.

Sometimes when I read my own blog posts, especially old ones that I've forgotten writing, I am startled by how much I've self-disclosed. So many of my thoughts are just on the internet. For the world.

(Not that many people are reading this blog, obvs. But some people are. You, for example.)

All this to say, I'm not exactly sure how much online self-disclosure is too much. If you know, clue me in. I aim to stop short of too much, but I know that sometimes I probably sprint right past it. In those instances, please know that I'm learning.

And in return for your understanding, I promise not to tell you about the time I threw up on the school bus in third grade. (It was not one of my most elegant moments.)