Dream Jobs

Every day this Christmas break, my friend Marie-Claire and I have decided to join up in our blogging efforts. We will be choosing a topic and posting our own interpretation of it. So follow along with both of us as we share our completely reliable opinions on fashion, pop culture, and life before our last semester of grad school.

Today's topic: Dream Jobs

Preface: This does not include the job that I'm actually studying to do (because, frankly, I'm supes tired of talking about that). Reality aside, here are my other top ten dream jobs. 

10. YA Author

Oh, to see my name on the spine of a pink book in the young adult section of the library! I would write about unlikely heroines and teenage drama, and I would say "like" and "you know" and "I mean" a lot. YA authors have that liberty. (I would also use fragments. Like all the time.)

9. Wedding Planner

I cannot think of a more Pinterestastic job than planning weddings. This job would combine my love of fancy events, planning, meeting people, and holding clipboards.

8. Makeover-er

Think Stacy London and Clinton Kelly. When my friends and I were in college, we wanted to start a makeover service through which we could aid the awkward freshmen with their fashion and beauty choices. So many girls with triangle hair, so many boys with cargo jeans, so little time.

7. Photographer

Being a photographer seems glamorous and artsy, and you get to use Photoshop, which is practically one of my love languages.

6. Web Designer

I took a web design class during my second semester of grad school, and it made me rethink all of my life choices. By which I mean, I wished I could've gone back in time and majored in web design. I just want to know all of the code.

5. Professional Runner

Did you know there are people who get paid to run? IT'S LIKE THEIR JOB. I am way too slow to make a living by running, but we're talking dream jobs here. I would wear cute running clothes and have rockin' legs. In this hypothetical world, I might even get a running-inspired tattoo like the one pictured. (Just kidding. That would never happen.)

4. Mindy Kaling

Another dream job of mine is just to be Mindy Kaling. That woman is a total rockstar. She's hilariously funny, she writes and stars in her own show, and her skin always look luminous.

3. Blogger

I'd have to blog way more frequently to be a professional blogger. Oh, and I'd have to get sponsors and hipster glasses. And maybe become a Mormon.

2. Pop Star

Hand me a hairbrush and crank up the Kelly Clarkson, and you will quickly realize that I seriously missed my calling as a pop star. (The Kelly Clarkson needs to be turned up really loud for this to work.) I hope I'd be the KC or T-Swift variety of pop star, not the Britney/X-tina variety. 

[2015 addendum: Sometimes I think back on this post and I'm like LOLOL, why did I put this so high on the list? The older I get, the less appealing being famous sounds. But I still do love the idea of having a job that would let me travel the world instead of looking at a computer screen all the time.]

1. SAHM

Let's be real: Being a stay-at-home mom is my one and only true dream job. I want to hold babies and wipe spaghetti off their faces and, when they get older, make school lunches for them and drive them to track practice. I promise not to wear mom jeans, though. You can hold me to it.

What's your dream job?

A long blog that you should read anyway.

So one of the most interesting things about coming to Mizzou has been getting to see what's popular at a different school in different part of the country. The first thing that I noticed about Mizzou was the way the students dress. On the first day of class, approximately one million girls were wearing this number: neon sports bras, sorority slub tanks and Nike track shorts.

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(Do you like the little Photoshop compilation I made for you? Legs from one model, torso from another, sports bra and shorts just stuck on in there? Thought you would.)

My initial reaction was, "OH, so this is their hazing. They make the girls wear these outfits." But no. The first day came and went. And girls were still wearing this. It's like the thing to wear.

On the one hand, I can see the logic in this wardrobe choice. For the first two weeks of classes, it was approximately one billion degrees on campus. On the other hand, I can't see the logic. Because they're going to class. With their sports bras sticking out.

So if that's how the girls look, how do the boys look? They look bearded.

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I know what you're saying. You're saying, "Kate, they might look bearded, but they don't look like Jon Hamm and Brad Pitt." To which I say, "Au contraire, monsieur."

Okay, actually not au contraire. You are right. (And you're probably not a monsieur.) They don't look like Jon Hamm and Brad Pitt. But they do look bearded, and I can't miss an opportunity to remind people that Brad Pitt and Jon Hamm went to Mizzou.

And as long as we're speaking in French, want to know what else is rampant on Mizzou's campus? Amour de Apple. Seriously. I know that I posted this same Mizzou classroom picture back in February, but now I've seen this Apple love with my own eyes, and it still amazes me. Classrooms actually look like that.

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Also, the Mizzou campus is like one big iPhone-fest. It's not just the majority of kids who have iPhones. It is the vast majority.

(I also see a surprising number of kids — undergrads, grads and non-J-School kids alike — traipsing around campus with iPads. They're all like, "No big deal. Just chillin' with my iPad.") It's like the future.

Another thing kids love at Mizzou (and my favorite spot on campus) is the completely ridiculous — nay, opulent — recreation center, which everyone calls The Rec. I always go after my classes end, so I have it to look forward to all day.

Going into The Rec is sort of like watching MTV's Cribs. It just seems like way more than anyone could ever need in the way of recreational space.

Don't like the cardio theater?

Go to quiet cardio zone.

Don't like the locker room?

Go to the fancier locker room. (Just $16 a month.)

Don't like the weight room?

Go to the other weight room.

Don't like the pool?

Go to the other pool.

Don't like the other pool?

Go to the other, other pool.

Don't like the other, other pool?

Go to the sauna, ya whiner.

Don't like your toenails?

GO GET YOUR TOENAILS DONE. IN THE REC.

That little Q&A there just began to touch on all that there is in The Rec. I found out recently that The Rec was actually rated the number one recreational center in the country by Sports Illustrated. I'm not surprised.

(My favorite thing to do in The Rec is the hip-hop spin class. Have you guys ever been spinning? It is so fun. Go try it. The class I go to is in a black-lit room, and they play loud music, and we all just spin away.)

There are also some random popular things at Mizzou or in Columbia that don't fit nicely into any categories. They include but are not limited to:

1. Tiger Stripe ice cream

I still haven't tried it, but it is made on campus, and people love it.

2. Churches

Everyone I talk to goes to a different church, and everyone I talk to loves their his or her church. I've visited three, and I liked all three of them. (First world problems, right?)

3. Smart people

Everybody seems smart here. [I am like not even that special anymore. (Just kidding, bahaha.)] But, seriously, it makes sense that Columbia is the 13th most educated city in the country! Or at least it was in 2006.

4. "Evangelists"

There are always people "evangelizing" in the speaker's circle at Mizzou. I keep getting this urge to throw Bibles at them and yell "Jesus doesn't motivate with guilt!" But I'm pretty sure that Jesus doesn't motivate by throwing Bibles either. (In other news, Brother Jed's home base is at Mizzou.)

5. Swearing

People love to swear at Mizzou. Profs swear at students. Students swear at profs. Profs swear in their lectures. Students swear in their homework. And it's all no big deal. No big deal, #$@% it!

6. Smoking

People also like to smoke on campus. I will never understand.

7. HyVee

People love this grocery store called HyVee. I went there, and I was all excited to experience it, but it turned out to be...a grocery store.

8. Hating kansas

People hate kansas here. They hate it so much that they don't even capitalize the k. That is the middle finger of grammar. (Prior to moving here, I'd only seen the middle finger of grammar used for satan.)

9. Asians

There are so many Asians here. (Do you like how I represented them with a picture of Russell from Up? Thought so.) I'm pretty sure there are more Asians in the grad school than non-Asians.

10. Parking garages

I pay $170 a year to park in parking garages, and I spend a lot of time in parking garages. They are taking over the city of Columbia, and there's still not enough parking.

Wow, parking garages make kind of a lame note to end on. I should have thought of that when I was arranging my collage, but it is 1:12 a.m. now, and there is no way that I am opening up Picasa to rearrange that and make a better conclusion for you guys. Has journalism school taught me nothing!?

p.s. I'm starting a new series on my blog called "Grammar with Kate." Clever, right? No, not right. If you can thing of a better name, let me know. It will be a grammar series inspired by pop culture happenings. First topic of discussion: Lady Gaga's new song "You and I." So much is wrong with that song. (Grammatically and otherwise.) Get excited.

To jort or not to jort.

Confession: I bought some jorts. Cute or not cute?

If somebody had told me two summers ago that I would purchase pleated and cuffed jorts in 2011, I would have been like, "Girl, you crazy."

So I'm not sure how I feel about this recent purchase. All I know is that Missouri is hot in August.

What's your opinion? ('Cause, I mean, I am the queen of returning things.)