Tonight's menu: salmon, asparagus, corn on the cob, electrocution.

I, being the brilliant person that I am, did something moronic today. I was using a TENS unit, or a transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation unit, which my physical therapist lent to me a few weeks ago to block pain messages from my legs to my brain by sending my brain electricity messages instead. If I understand correctly, muscles can develop "muscle memory" and automatically send pain signals to your brain when they do motions that have often caused them pain. A TENS unit is supposed to override those signals and break muscle memory.


Today, I was sitting at the dining room table eating dinner with my family with my TENS unit on my left leg. All of a sudden, one of the four sticky electrodes unstuck itself from my leg and landed on/stuck itself to the carpet. I've never had an electrode unstick itself from me before.

Here comes my stupidity. I picked up the electrode to try to reattach it to my leg. Let me just tell you that legs can handle more electricity than fingers can.

Whenever I turn the electricity too high on my leg, it starts twitching, and my fingers did the same thing. They started twitching when I grabbed the electrode! I couldn't control them, but the thing was–duh–stuck to my fingers! Then, out of instinct, I guess, I tried to grab it off with my other hand, but then both my hands were twitching and uncontrollable and stuck to the electrode. It soon fell off, and I turned off the TENS unit before picking it up again and sticking it back on my leg.

I then resumed eating my corn on the cob and felt dumb.